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Change jokes

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

  • 1

    • How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    4!

    One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"

    The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

    so Trump can't tweet it.

  • 2

    • I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

  • 8

    • How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

  • 0

    • How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.

  • 1

    • My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

  • 7

    • How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, that's a hardware problem.