Change Jokes

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

How Many Communist Does it take To Change Lightbulb? Never Enough

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

A corpse, of course!

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?

- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.

When does it rain money?

When there's a change in the weather.

What do cheetahs wear to work?

They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!

2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.

Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.

Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.

Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.

American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!

Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"