What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
