Celebrity jokes
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Will Will Smith smith?
Yes, Will Smith will smith.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.