Celebrity jokes
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Michael J. Fox walks into the grocery store to buy some salt. When he comes out, a kid turns to his mother and says, "Look mom, a salt shaker!"
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
What is found under Michael Jackson's pillow?
Billie's jeans.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
Michael J. Fox is rumored to be starring in the new Tremors sequel.
I am Paul Walker.
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
Some say under his helmet is another smaller helmet, and under that is another helmet, and under that is a poster of Miley Cyrus.
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."