Celebrity jokes
What's worse than ants down your pants? Michael Jackson.
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Memes
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite phrase to parents of boys? "Leave me alone!"
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Miksi Michael lähti limusiinistä ulos?
Hän näki alastoman pojan.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thought Bruno Mars was a planet!