Celebrity jokes
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green Bay Packers & New England Patriots
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Chris Brown, More like Chris Brownie hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"