Celebrity jokes
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What is Juice WRLD's favorite restaurant?
Little Seizures.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five? Logan Paul left him hanging.
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.