God, I miss Stephen Hawking. He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
how do you get a party started in Africa
you put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping
I walked into a store and I pointed a stick to the roof and i said"this is a stick up"
how do you start an Ethiopian rave? stick toast to the ceiling.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet A.11 A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T
How do you start a rave in Etiopia? You put food ceiling and they start jumping.
a friend texts to another "hey", they reply, "What's up?". The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "the sky!", but the other friend intervenes and says, "no it's the ceiling!". To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "unless you're homeless or six feet under."
What do Children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings! Not funny, here’s another Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying
"Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
my ceiling fan isnt the only thing thats going to be hanging tonight
if I don't find a reason to live soon my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling
Guys I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things. *proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
My favorite book is brown spots on the ceiling By Ho Fung Poo
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling, I mean if they reach high enough they can clean it...
Why do women need a payrise isn't the class ceiling high enough....
how do you organize a Rave party in Ethiopia? just put some bread on the ceiling
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling. The cashier says "If you can grab it, your meal's free.". The man then said "Nah, the stakes are too high.".
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"oh cool"
"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense"
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
