Why are orphans called orphans?
'Cause they're gay.
Cause Jokes
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Hey, stinks, you know why? 'Cause your butts dry!
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
