Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why is England bad at chess? cause they lost their queen
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Why does Trump play Minecraft?
'Cause he can build walls.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
If your ever bored just punch an orphan. Cause what are they gonna do tell their parents.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Cause they can’t tell there parents
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
