Cause jokes
Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.
We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?
Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
September 11th is the superior birthday because no one forgets it. #flexingonyoubitches ;)
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
Yo hairline caused corruption.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
Why is NASA so sus?
'Cause they wanted to see Uranus.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.