Cat jokes
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Which category is glory in?
Cats.
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
Press F to pay respects to Grumpy Cat!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.