Cat jokes
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
The fucking cat!
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?
All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
The cat said hi.
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
What's so wrong about Trump being in office?
He steals all the cats.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
Nessie is dying.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.