Cat jokes

Magitat?

What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.

What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?

A boomboxer.

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?

A: Cowacat

B: Mooore

C: Cowacatfood

What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!

Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.

You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

A black cat will be racist next.

What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?

It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.

An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.

“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.

“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.

I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.

In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.

With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.

Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.

Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.

A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.

With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.

Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.

But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.

And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!