Cat jokes
Puss.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?
"Romeow and Drooliet!"
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.