Cat jokes

You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?

A: Cowacat

B: Mooore

C: Cowacatfood

Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.

Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

A black cat will be racist next.

What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?

A boomboxer.

What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?

It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.

I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.

One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.

A cat in the desert be like:

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is Puss In Boots' favorite boot brand?

CAT!