Cat

Cat jokes

Author

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.

Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.

Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.

Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.

Oh God By Dixie Rect.

Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.

Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.

Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.

How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.

Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.

The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.

Memes

Song

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

Bitch

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

Boy

The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.

Road

The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...

The cat still died, why?

It had a Catastrophic Catcident.

Mouse

A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."

Dog

Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.

Grandma

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

Animal

Why do animals cross the road?

Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"

Fight

OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?

All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(

Brother

My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.

Hey, can I axe you a question?

My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.