Cat Jokes

you see a cat its dead you are dead

Why does animals cross the road because it is funny do you say dogs and cats

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

the fucking cat

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A mouse said who should put the bell on the cat then all move said the old one

ok guys quick update, what is going on with freshfry, Drew, and ALYA? all there doing is fighting and I want to put an end to it. So freshfry, Drew and ALYA all need to read this ok. First freshfry you should of just said ok the first thing he said, and Drew... really? you had to keep egging him on. I don't know about ALYA but its like cats and dogs fighting. Just pls stop fighting:(

Sim a is proof cats don’t always land on their feet

my brother and i were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf, my mom cam in and started asking who knocked it over, to which i replied that i only had my shelf to blame.

heya can i axe you a question?

my brother like to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. i said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with not going to stop who? i told him not to worry that it could capture any two.

The cat said hi.

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats and I'm like "Water you talking about" =3

All doggie go to heaven -or so I've been told. They run and play along the streets of Gold. Why is heaven such a doggie-delight... Why,because there's not a single cat in sight.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why are cheetahs Big cats cause they poo and purr

What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck

What's so wrong about trump being in office?

He steals all the cats.

There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !

Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !

This huntsman also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear .

Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,

He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!

I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!

Meanwhile ..,

there’s This cat !!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....

Easy pickings ...

Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,

DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!

Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie

The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...

LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............

every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )

WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx