Cat jokes

Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.

One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.

What is Puss In Boots' favorite boot brand?

CAT!

A cat in the desert be like:

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.

Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.

Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.

Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.

Oh God By Dixie Rect.

Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.

Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.

Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.

How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.

Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.

The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.

I like cats.

What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?

"Meow!"

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

You are so cat.

Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?

A: Just kitten!

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.

The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...

The cat still died, why?

It had a Catastrophic Catcident.

Why do animals cross the road?

Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"

You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.

A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."

You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.

The fucking cat!

Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.