This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he get a hole in one.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ILL RHYMES
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. Clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today ma'am...we have every flavor you can imagine". Old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream". The clerk says, "Sorry ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have". ""Ok" she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream". The clerk says just a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream". The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?". Finally totally exasperated the clerk says, "Wait a minute lady. Can you spell Van as in vanilla?". "Why of course young man" she says, "V-A-N". "Right" the clerk says, "Can you spell Straw as in strawberry?". "Well of course, Straw", she replied. "Ok then" he says, "Now spell Fuck as in chocolate". She says, "There's no Fuck in chocolate". He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!".
what's black and red/read all over? a baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
why did the golpher change his pants? in case he got a hole in one
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Police: Hey man look at this! * throws cocaine at fan and flew back his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I “crack” the case.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case? Stephen Hawking during a house fire
Wipe your feet before entering but in Stephen Hawkings case it is Wipe your wheels.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS
so a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats and the dealer tells him ‘dude the rain will ruin the seats get it under something if it starts raining and worst case scenario put vaseline all over the seats to make it water proof’. so he goes to his girlfriend house that night for dinner and before he goes inside she says ‘listen this is your first time meeting your parents we have a rule, the first one to speak has to do the dishes’. so he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes over 3 months because no one has spoken and the stench is awful. during dinner he concocted a plan to get someone to speak so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. not a peep eventually he grabs his girlfriend bends her over and starts going to town. still nothing the parents are outraged but not speaking because they don’t want to do the dishes. after about a minute of this he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. at that moment it starts to rain his motorcycle is out in the rain and grabs the vaseline out of his pack pocket and the dad goes ‘FINE ILL DO THE DISHES’
were do you go if you lost a pencil office works they have solved lodes of pencil cases
Why didn’t Sthephen Hawking go to heaven? Because its a stair case not a ramp
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
Solved a murder involving the nut case.
