Card jokes
What is a photographer's favorite card game?
SNAP!
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.
Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.
Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!
Llama: What's your damn problem?
Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!
Unknown: Okay!
Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!
Unknown whispering: Sexy!
Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.
Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.
Older boy: UNO reverse card!