Card jokes
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.
Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.
Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!
Llama: What's your damn problem?
Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!
Unknown: Okay!
Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!
Unknown whispering: Sexy!
Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.
Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.
Older boy: UNO reverse card!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"