Card jokes

What has a heart but no organs?

A deck of cards!

Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.

Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.