Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?" Mommy xays, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play" A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off."
So my kid took my car he crashed it off a bridge I miss it but it's going to have my car
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?".
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
Why did the rhino eat the car. Poop
Yesterday i tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were and that made her cry harder. So then i adked her where her house was and she said with tears "i dont have one" so i got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was a orphaninch.
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?". The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster", it'll go faster, "harder", it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hostpital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams so you go faster
Q.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said "Big whale, big whale."
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife? Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
My nan broke her toe by a brick today, last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire . Does that now mean I have to toe her back to the doctors.
to Mr. nice guy you are nice sweet and carring! i am so greatfull to be your friend!
Why cant Stephen hawking be a rocket league car? because he cant jump for a aerial
whats the diffrant between stephen hawking and rocket league both of them cant stand up
My name is Mariah Carly Brown and I am an orphan and what do I say about your jokes that are not funny ... STOP THEM !!!!! Dark hummor is mean! All day I go to see all the jokes I find and I see "Orphan jokes". What kind of sick person likes that kind of joke? By the way it is not a question. I have 3 twin sisters! Lariah. Kariah, and Iariah! Iariah starts with an i! So stop the jokes please!
Why did your mom cross the road? Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car. So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
Americans be like: Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road.
England be like: Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road.
Russians after a car accident be like: Here in Russia, road is road.
I was anonymous, with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*"
What's black and white and red all over? A mime i hit with my car.
