Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
Driving through the woods today I saw a boy with a bare behind.
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
i was at the club and thin my Dad walked up and said your 15 why are you high and at the club so i ran then my uncle was at the car and took me home so i was grouned then my boy friend came bc my parents wet out and we had sex and we where very loud my dad came home and walked in he had my bf pin me agenst the wall so my dad could spank me
Mom:Dont forget to unload the dishwasher
Mom:did you finish ur homework?
Mom:We are going to ur grandmothers house for thanksgiving
Mom:Dad and i talked we are getting a new car next month
Son:u are?? oh my gosh thank you
Mom:No i was just making sure you were getting my texts
Son:that was cruel
why did i cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife, and use it!
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
Hi guys I'm back and YES two jokes/blogs in one day. I KNOW. I just have nothing to do!!! So today I'm going to tell you how to get what you want from your parents!!! And there will be a joke at the end too. Enjoy! So The prank that I have for you guys today is, make sure you have glue, die, and a toothbrush that is not your's >:) So you are going to put the die in the glue and then put the glue on the toothbrush and give it to your sibling and say "here. I got your toothbrush ready for you" Then, make sure they take it. Once they take it, run so that they can not hit you once they taste it. Thanks for reading this prank today guys!!! I hope it works out for you and I can't wait to hear what happens with you guys in the comments below so make sure to comment and tell me what happened when you pulled this prank!! Sorry Prankster if this is offensive to you since you do pranks too. I will not do them anymore if you don't want me to :) Thanks for reading guys and here is that joke I told you about :)
Yo mama is so fat when she got in the car the wheels popped. So I know this was not the best joke and I can do better, but I will keep trying and see you guys next time! Bye!!! :)
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
I really like those 'driverless cars'. I saw loads of them last week, in the car park.
I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.
If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
