Car jokes
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.