Car jokes
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
Site nearly as dead as my trim.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.