Car jokes

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.

What kind of car does Pikachu drive?

A Volts-wagon.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.

Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.

What did a car say hi to?

It said hi to the school.

A lion would never drive while drunk.

But a tiger wood.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

What do you call a cab for black men?

A cop car.

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?

Carlos.

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"

What do pedophiles do when they wake up?

Turn on the child safety lock on the car.

How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?

In the ashtray.