Car jokes

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

Why did your mom cross the road?

Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:

1. A Lambo

2. A House

3. UR MOM

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.

Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

What did a car say hi to?

It said hi to the school.

What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?

A car thief who can't drive.

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"

In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?

Carlos.

What do pedophiles do when they wake up?

Turn on the child safety lock on the car.

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.