Car

Car jokes

Wheelchair

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Freshman

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

Memes

Ex

"Hey, today was great!"

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car!"

Accident

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

Jelly

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

Jew

Why did the Jew get an electric car?

Because he was afraid of the gas.

Movie

In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.

Mama

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

Seatbelt

Seatbelt

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

Cop

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"

Blonde

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.

They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.

The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”

The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”

The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”