Car jokes
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?