Car jokes
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
Memes
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”