Car jokes
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
What did the bus driver say to the car?
"What is your address?"
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.