Car jokes
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A Christler.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.
We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Your hairline looks like a car!
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"