Car jokes
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
What’s big and black on the road?
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of car on fire? Hot wheels.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
What was Hitler's favorite part of the car? The gas tank.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A Christler.