Captain

Captain jokes

Log

Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.

Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."

Pirate

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

Moth

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

Memes

Man

"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."

"That's your lookout."

Titanic

Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

3 minutes later:

Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

Dick

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

Difference

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

Pilot

Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.

Garuda Indonesia 421:

Sully's co-pilot: