Captain jokes
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
What is long and hard and is full of seamen?
A submarine.
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
"Jack Sparrow."
"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
kapteyn = captain
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.