Spock went to the enterprises toilet and he knocked on it "Kirk are you in there?" Spiked asked, Kirk answered "hold on i am making a captains log"
The pirate looked down the toilet and what did he see The captains log
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
yo momma titty milk taste like captain crunch
Captain America is a 106 yo virgin
kapteyn = captain
Luisa: the ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is
Captain of the titanic: wait what did you say
3 minutes later
Why didn't I listen to the strong one
"Jack sparrow"
Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow
if the captain of titanic was dumb he whould EAT THE ICEBERG
Putin be like that boat is now submarine!
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
Answers; at a second hand store
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D
How do you call a fast boat? Usain, Usain Boat
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you call a rapper who's also a PIRATE?
Captain Rhyme
What's the difference between captain Morgan and any Winehouse? Captain Morgan comes alive when you added coke.
sully: praised after landing in the hudson river garuda indonesia 421: sullys co pilot:
Girl: hi(flirt) Boy: hi?(reluctant) Girl: im a cheerleader captain, im also single.(flirt) Boy 2: exuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Shipmate: captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now! Captain:my momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
