Cant jokes
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.