Cant jokes
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.