Cant jokes

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?

It can't hit home.

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    • Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

    Teacher: 203

    Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

    Teacher: You can't.

    Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

    How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

    Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

    Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

    The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

    Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

    Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

    Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

    Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

    Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

    Sally dies anyway, how?

    Teacher: She frowned?

    Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

    Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?

    Because he's their father.

    I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

    Now I can’t get it to shut up.

    Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

    Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

    Boy: "What do you mean?"

    Friend and me: "We can show you."

    Me: "I will tie the rope."

    Friend: "I will push the chair."