Cancer jokes
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.