Cancer jokes

What is long and not hairy?

The conga line in the cancer department.

I have nut cancer...

What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.

Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.

How do you cure a ginger?

Chemotherapy.

What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

Cancer.

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"

Why do people shake cigarette boxes?

To wake up the cancer.

I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?

Patient: Cancer, why?

Doctor: What are the chances?

Patient: Of what?

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.

You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.