Cancer jokes
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
Nickelback.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.