Cancer

Cancer jokes

Son

Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!

Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!

Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...

Mom:....

Stuff

So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

Kid

What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?

They will never grow up.

Kid

Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

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  • Disease

    Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.

    Disease

    Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.

    Wish

    Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.

    Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.

    Kid

    A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.

    "What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    Kid

    Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?

    They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.

    Doctor

    So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."

    Daughter

    I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

    Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

    Horse

    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

    The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."

    The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.

    Bear

    Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.