Cancer jokes
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Anime cats.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
Why are people joking about this stuff?
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
James Dalton.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."