Cancer Jokes

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad my stepdad did it beat cancer

How would you best describe prostate cancer?

Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.

A person sitting at a table with a white sign that reads "A cure for cancer would kill deadpool. CHANGE MY MIND."

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!

What's the best way to remove gum from hair?

Cancer.

Ask A Orphan This- "Whats the difference between cancer and ur dad, cancer comes back."

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have incommon their life dosn't last long

What do you call an overly clingy child?

A tumor.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

Doctor: You have cancer.

Patient: Will I survive?

Doctor: Probably not.

Health commercials be like:

Serious side effects can cause:

Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!