Cancer Jokes

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad my stepdad did it beat cancer

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

imagine this senario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "you have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc" and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

Whats the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

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Whats the best way to remove gum from hair?

Cancer.

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What do you call a overly clingy child.

A tumor

If you fell a lump in your rice, you fucked up, If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have incommon their life dosn't last long

My grandma just died from cancer

My last words to her were “I like your cut g”

Doctor: u have cancer. Patient: will i survive? Doctor: prolly not

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

health commercials be like:

serious side effects can cause:

Nausea, Diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, Cancer, Diabetes, Aids, Clamedia, Lupus, Ebola, polio, Leprosy, Pulmanary edema, heart attack, heart falure, yellow fever, but worst of all DEATH