Cancer

Cancer jokes

Tumor

The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."

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  • Santa

    My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

    My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

    Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

    *Everyone Looks at me*

    Christmas

    "Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."

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  • Part

    What’s the best part of stage four cancer?

    A: There’s no stage five.

    Memes

    Child

    A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

    Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

    Guy

    So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

    Hairline

    Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

    Smart ass

    POV: me telling a joke.

    My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.

    Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.

    Daughter

    You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

    You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

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  • Doctor

    What did the cancer doctor say?

    You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!