Cancer

Cancer jokes

Christmas

"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."

  • 0
  • Part

    What’s the best part of stage four cancer?

    A: There’s no stage five.

    Child

    A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

    Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

    Memes

    Guy

    So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

    Hairline

    Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

    Daughter

    You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

    You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

  • 1
  • Smart ass

    POV: me telling a joke.

    My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.

    Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.

    Doctor

    What did the cancer doctor say?

    You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!

    Pinocchio

    Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there, the doctor asks him, "Do you have cancer?" Pinocchio replies, "That was very straight up, but no, I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer." After saying this, his nose grew.