Cancer jokes
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
9/11.
"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?
Hair pull.
Submit joke here.
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Fuck, my dad has cancer, lol.
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
James Dalton.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.