Can jokes
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?
Because they can actually land a home.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.
So it can cut itself.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously