Michael J Fox walks into an ice cream parlour. The man behind the counter asks Michael. Can I help you? Michael exclaims I would like an ice cream? The man behind the counter asks. What flavour? Michael says. It doesn't matter what flavour, I'm gunna fucken drop it anyway.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression all you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
Elderly man: can I get a discount please, I fought in world war 2..
Cashier: sure!
Elderly man: danke
I robbed a person in a wheelchair, he cried and said: "you can run but you cant hide". I ran and i never saw him again
Guys can we change pride month to another month please my birthday is in june and im mot gay and my friends keep making fun of me i think we should change it to march because my brothers birthday is in march and thatd be funny
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen. Just how low can you get.
Your mom is soo fat nobody can compare her to anything
What music do depressed people listen to? "I believe I Can fly"
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common they both wanna die and cut so they can die faster but they are already dead already dead to me!
what game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
tic tac toe.
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
Hey can you PUTIN DEEZ NUTZ
One thing you can ask mario.
Can you jump up and down for me
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist? Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older. || 20 YEARS LATER || Johnny: Mom now can you tell me why cuss words exist? Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them. Johnny: Damn Mom you shoulda told me that when I was still seven cuz now I really feel like that person.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings to words. "Sally, can you tell me what beautiful means?" Sally: "You.." Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what malicious means?" Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus." Teacher: "Great job Andrew! Now, what does fat mean? Johnny?" Johnny: "A pig." Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini-" Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me."
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?" Jo
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who they gonna tell their parents?
The hot holes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden
