Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny Mulan can look into your forehead and sing reflection
Whats the difference between Jesus and and a picture of jesus
You can hang the picture with one nail
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student, and still get all the D's.
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing? Your hairline.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
i heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains but faith cannot move your receding hairline
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
if a black person calls you a cracker, let them say you can say things they can't say like, "thanks for the warning officer"
Hey guys, its Hailey here.
Ima start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake. We can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, You won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs? A: they are noticed for 13 years then left for noone to touch again.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
What an orphans least favorite show: family guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car? Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job" Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad), Dad, Ewww, your dick tastes like shite!" Dad: Oh that's right, I lent your brother the car
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Why does Trump play Minecraft? Cuz he can build walls
I am whoopin my doges a$$ if u like u can free him
Stephen hawking can pass any test but there’s one test cant pass it is the pacer test
