Can jokes
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
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Thank you, -Connor
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. Itβs honestly just nasty.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
Itβs been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.