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Can jokes

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

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    • Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

    So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

    What's blue and bad for your teeth?

    A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).

    A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

    A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

    The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

    I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

    After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

    Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

    Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

    The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

    A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"