Call jokes
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
What do you call a Mongolian swindler? A Khan artist.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
What do you call a sad rapper?
A SOB-HOP ARTIST.
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
What do you call a man with farts?
DEEZ NUTS!
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/