Call jokes
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin' B. Anthony!
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!
This keeps getting better have a GREAT DAY
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
What do you call a white man that can dance?
A faggot.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"