Call jokes
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Memes
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.