Call jokes
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What do you call Jamieilyah when she is sleeping?
Sleeping Beauty.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
What do you call a stupid meme and a Mexican fighting? Juan on Juan.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.