What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
What do you call a couple mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face off in the corner.
Well if someone ever calls u gay 🌈🏳️🌈 just say well atleast im straiter then the pole your mommy dances on 🤣🖕
What do u call a scared octopus
A octopussy
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo
What do you call all down syndromes....
Twins
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank has jotted that down on his notebook he says, "o, i c"
What do you call a sick eagle 🦅?
ill-eagle! 😂
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
“Jfc ****, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to god you’re so fucking bougie.” (Pause) “Oh I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan...” “Jeff who?” “Bezos.”
Two cats called '1,2,3' & 'un,deux,trois' had a swimming race across the channel. 1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
Yo mum is so fat when she saw the titanic she called it small
