Call jokes
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
An old man gets a call from the IRS.
The man on the phone says, “We’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly, and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office, and the man there says, ”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies, ”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says, ”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says, ”Alright, last chance. I bet you 50,000 I can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible, so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agent’s desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “Haha! I got you now!” But the man's lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands, and says, “He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building? A cliffhanger.
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
Little Johnny was at home and then he went to his grandma's house. He went there to cuss so he wouldn't get in trouble, and secretly, Grandma called his momma to come pick him up.
Momma asked what Little Johnny did, and she said he cussed and cussed and cussed. Granny had enough and called Mom again. Momma said Little Johnny was grounded for 2 weeks, and Little Johnny cussed some more. Now he grounded for 3 weeks.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".
What do you call a bum person with a brain?
A hillbilly.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.