Call jokes
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.