Call jokes
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
What do you call a wet condom?
A wet condom.
In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"
Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."
Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"
Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"
The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"
The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."
The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"
"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"
What do you call a bitch? A dumbass, hahahahaha.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!