Call jokes
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?
Happy for the first time.
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
This girl called me cute, and I told her don’t call me that. She says why, I told her, “Bitch, call me the Hokage!”
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
What do you call ball drama?
What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?
Vegetable Soup.
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.