Call jokes
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.