Call jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"