Call jokes
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you call fallen water? A waterfall.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.