What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her)
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?
You really thought n****r, didn't you?
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
