Call jokes
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
What do you call the worst feeling ever?
Drinking Big before Mini. :)
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
What is a doe called with no legs?
•" No legged deer."
What do you call a deer with no ears?
•" No eared deer."
What do you call a deer with no eye?
•" No eye deer."
XDDDDDD
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!