Call jokes
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What do you call a reverse exorcism?
It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?
Tamaleto.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf