Call jokes
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What do you call a fish with no neck?
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."
Lick my balls.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"