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Call jokes

Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.

What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?

Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?

They have no one to call "Dad."

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.

The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"

The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"

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    • You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

    When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

    Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

    If you know it, you know it.

    What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

    Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.