Call jokes

I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?

Still no fucking idea.

What do you call a herd of winning cows?

A topside.

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?

Friends: No, what is it?

Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.

Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

Me: Calls 9-1-1.

Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?

Me: *hangs up*

What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.

What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?

America.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?

Gay.

What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!

What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.

What do you call an annoyed octopus?

Octopissy.

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?

Anglosaxon.

What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?

"Eye torture!"

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.