Call jokes
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What do you call a fish with no neck?
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."
Lick my balls.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."