Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?
Anglosaxon.
What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?
"Eye torture!"
i gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
What do you call Cyanne when she first wakes up? Nanny McPhee.
wat do u call u a dawf ? ADRIAN!
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
